This has been a whirlwind of busyness and a season of change for me and my family. In one weekend we celebrated my early retirement, my son’s high school graduation and our 19th wedding anniversary and the fact that in this year my husband and I both turn 50 (he already has and I am joining him shortly). We used to think middle aged was old and now we realize how much more life there is to live. We just want to hold back the time a little.
While all of these events are ones that bring joy and happiness, I have also felt a lot of sad emotions. I am in a place of transition that seems to be happening way too fast for me. I remember, as if it was yesterday, the day I signed my teaching contract and started teaching. My memory is very clear, as if it was yesterday, as I think back on when I was pregnant with my first born, how he arrived and the first time I held him in my arms. My wedding day truly feels as if it was only yesterday. It is a day I will never forget. Where did the years go? How did the time go by so fast?
Perhaps you are also in a time of transition. Maybe the journey through your last years have left you wondering where do you go from here?
While it is true that I will still continue to supply teach, my role is going to be different. I know that I will always be a parent but now that my son is moving into young adulthood and I have to figure out my role in his life. And yes, I am still in love and committed to our marriage but now that we move into our 20th year, the stage that we are in, in life-professionally, parenting, aging- automatically changes the way we will love each other. All of these are good things and necessary for growth. Yet, I don’t feel ready.
I made the decision to retire. It was the right time in my life. Yet I am leaving behind what was comfortable and moving into many unknowns. I am happy to see the years of growth in my son and so glad for the milestones he is meeting. Even with all the challenges these teen years have brought, it is what I know. I am comfortable knowing I am needed and also have a role as a parent. Moving into the unknown of releasing my grip is scary. Being able to celebrate these many years of life and marriage, knowing that I may not have been here due to cancer, is more than a victory and I am humbled. It is that thought that has me grieving the years that I missed, the years that were not what we had planned or dreamed them to be and also wondering how to make the most of each and every moment of the blessing of life that I have been given. I have been living a new normal and I am moving into an even newer normal.
Perhaps you are also in a time of transition. Maybe the journey through your last years have left you wondering where do you go from here? Perhaps your last years have left you wanting to relive them and do things differently but you can’t go back -your only move is forward. Are you walking into an unknown future? Let me rephrase this question. Are you walking into an unknown future…with a known God? This is our secret. This is our strength.
May I encourage you as God has encouraged me with some scripture that is worth holding on to?
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
God is doing a new thing in our lives as He moves us through seasons and stages. Our lives are not over. Whatever has tried to put us in or keep us in the wilderness, or to leave us dry and unrefreshed, God is bringing the change.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
God is able to use everything that happens in our lives, every choice we make and every season we go through for our good and keep us in His purpose.
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Wherever we are going, God is leading and already there. Our future is not unknown to Him. He just hasn’t shared everything with us and we just have to keep our eyes on Him and follow well.
Psalms 23 reminds us that as we walk with God, we will not lack anything. There is nothing that we will want for. He leads. Even in the presence of our enemies we have blessing. His goodness and mercy are our companions, always.
May God continue to speak to us as we move into new spaces in all facets of our lives. God holds all time in His hands and while He is holding that, He is holding us. I know that for me, change can be hard and uncomfortable but I am choosing to rest comfortably in the one who never changes. God is in control of my future. He knows what He is doing. I can trust Him. We all can.